Today I am furious. Enraged.
Normally I’m the sort to take a deep breath, have a nice cup of tea and direct my energies elsewhere. Not this time I’m afraid.
Upon checking my Twitter feed, I came across a conversation between two journalists that really got my goat.
Journalist one says to the Twitter Universe:
“Press release about woman who wants us to follow our dreams. She gave up a good City job to be a dancer/singer; if we all had the money, dear…..”
Journalist two replies:
“People who make it are asked, “What’s your secret?” They reply “Believe and you can achieve anything.” Advice that is damaging.”
Journalist one adds:
“So true. I fancy being a Las Vegas showgirl, but it ain’t gonna happen. So I’ll settle for finishing writing a book this year”
At this point they presumably patted themselves on the back for recognising that this story was inaccessible to the general public trying to make ends meet, and went back to writing that article about the Duchess of Cambridge’s hair and how it might help us determine the sex of the baby.
Of course, this little exchange bothered me so much because that woman’s story is fairly close to my own. And I am disappointingly familiar with this kind of cheap and lazy cynicism.
Once I was asked in an interview what I thought I could possibly have to share with the large number of people who can barely scrape together enough to save for a holiday, never mind change career. I was astonished to find that, in this person’s view, my entire contribution to what it might mean to make a positive change in your life, everything I have learned about how difficult it is, was apparently invalidated by the fact that I had some savings (that I worked extremely hard for, by the way) when I did it.
And what about those who make a conscious choice to work hard in a financially rewarding but unfulfilling career, in order to be able to save and set up their own business later? Is that not a valid career strategy that young people should perhaps be aware is available to them?
No.
Far more important to ignore stories that could be inspiring to all of us, in favour of another piece about how to lose that last ten pounds. Advice that is not damaging at all.
We all need to hear about people who do extraordinary things. Even if their circumstances are very far removed from our own. We can work through that, but we all need to start with belief.
Of course belief by itself is not enough. Not even close. But without it you may as well not bother. Without it, you will not have the strength to cope with the very real, heartbreaking challenges that will turn your world upside down one Tuesday morning. Without it you have nowhere to go.
Journalist One may not understand the difference between those who “fancy being a……” and those who can’t not be a…….. or perhaps even those who know they can’t continue being a………. but I absolutely do.
I want to hear that woman’s story. I want to hear about how she did it. I want to hear about her failures, her despair and, yes, even her money……what it got her and what she did when it ran out. I’m furious that it has been kept from me.
I’m furious that when I read interviews with JK Rowling (my achievement crush) I learn about whether she has ever worn a disguise to go shopping and other trivialities, rather than how she found the strength to pick herself up after so many rejections. And I don’t lose interest in her story when she made her money. I also want to know about the pressure she must have felt in constructing her later works.
One of the best pieces of advice I received at the beginning of my journey was to stop looking at other people in terms of what they have that I don’t and start looking at what I can learn from them. What can I take from their story and apply to my art and my business? And, if you can do this for people from all backgrounds, from all disciplines, from all countries, that’s a lot of fodder for inspiration.
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
~ George Bernard Shaw
I am proud to be unreasonable today. The ways of the world are that some people have savings and some people do not. Some people have free time and some do not. Some people have contacts and some do not. Some people have supportive families and some do not.
That is not fair and it is not how I would want it to be, but I do know that these are not reasons to diminish the achievements of the extraordinary. These are not reasons to avoid listening to their stories because often we find that their extraordinary deeds were only possible because they learned to use the advantages available to them and to conquer the limitations they faced. I do know that we do not overcome obstacles by wishing they were not so.
So let’s have fewer stories about reality tv, celebrity hairdos and plastic surgery horrors and more stories about those who do things that really matter…..and not just those who did it with no savings. Let’s hear about all of the different routes to success, and all the different definitions of success. Let’s make our own decisions about what is relevant and accessible and what each story can teach us. It’s unreasonable, but it is how progress is made.